Control

It would seem that I am at an impass with myself. I think too much, talk too much, breathe too much. I am in control of my own fighter plane and I'm goin' down. At this moment, I give God complete control.

Right now, yes.

I have all these dreams of brilliant, crazy-awesome things that could happen, but if they're not in-tune with God's will, who cares?? I DON'T WANT THEM ANYMORE. And the sad part is that I wanted them for me. Not a dream for someone else to complete and bask in, not a dream for an entire group of people to be liberated from some tyrant somewhere, but they were all dreams that would be beneficial to me and only me if they were indeed carried out.

How selfish can one get? I find that selfishness can only deliver in a 1:1 ratio, where as generosity nearly always results in profit for the giver and the receiver both. And yet I remain constant in my vainglorious, typical, wasteful nature. Hopefully that stops today, here. Prayerfully, it stops in this moment. God is willing and it stops now.



"If you carefully observe all these commands I am giving you to follow—to love the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways and to hold fast to him—then the LORD will drive out all these nations before you, and you will dispossess nations larger and stronger than you"