It's time.
It's go time.
See that man walking past you in the grocery store? No, he doesn't look up. Trudging around in concentric circles, jumping from one path to another and yet still orbiting the same central mirage that doesn't actually exist. His path will lead him on into nowhere until the timer-bell rings and he is ultimately lost. All it would take is a nudge and a whisper. A whisper of hope and SURPRISE! because who walks around in grocery stores waiting to pounce on an unsuspecting tragedy? A tragedy no more, I would think, but rather a turnaround. People are communal. WE like eachother. I won't say I like him because I don't know him, but I don't. I love him, so what
is
my
problem?
Stop staring, Drew. Start gazing and subsequently reaching, for this life is more than it seems and your time is waning. The stars are closer than they appear: a trick of light. They are within your grasp because you ride on the shoulders of the Almighty. No distance is too great, no opportunity too unfertile. Be salt and be light. Forget yourself because you don't matter, at least not to yourself. At least you shouldn't. But at least you do to a million other people who've already got this stuff figured out. And most of all, to the one to whom it matters most (who happens to be the one/three who thought it all up in the first place). Yeah, we'll change the world. But let's start with that guy...when the timing is right. No need to worry! He'll let you and I know when
it's go time.
it's God time.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Paws
A young wolf meanders back to his den after sweeping the cold forest for anything resembling food…meat…life. His walk-trot is a somber one, for his hunt has proved once again to be fruitless, like it was yesterday and the day before. He is starving; the present winter is a harsh one. A sharp wind nips at his ears while the frozen earth beneath him stings his footpads. How much longer will he last this way before pain becomes irrelevant and his body simply cannot function?
Just as he begins to enter back into the relative warmth of his deep home, he senses movement to his right. One step and a pounce! Whatever it was, he had pinned it on an icy stump. A squirrel? No, a mouse! But it was not stirring…had he killed it already?
Silence.
Out of sheer curiosity, he peeks beneath his paws and examines his prey: a run-of-the-mill field mouse. Alive, but remaining perfectly still and looking directly into his eyes. Its lips seemed to curl upwards, almost as though it were smiling. Who had ever heard of such a mouse? So close to certain death and yet so unmovingly silent.
A great chill shook the wolf right down his spine, causing him to lose his grip on the field mouse for the shortest of moments. It quickly scurried under the roots of the stump, well out of reach.
Completely distraught, the wolf decided to scourge the graying forest once more in hopes that some other morsel of food…of life…would cross his path. Yes, his path of muddy pawprints tracking through the snow.
How had the mouse gotten away? What a silly question; of course it was he who had let it go. But what unseen force had caused him to hesitate? All his life he’d hunted and never, ever let loose captured prey. And now, in his greatest moment of desperation for food, for life, that mouse triggered something inside of him that was very strange indeed.
A weak, but distinct smell began to enter his well-trained nostrils…blood! The pungent scent of fresh blood led him onwards into the very heart of the forest. A mile further, after dodging between the ever-looming snowcapped pine trees and over many fallen ones, a small clearing came into sight.
A mass of torn flesh lay sprawled within: the corpse of a deer, half-eaten, abandoned by some unnamable beast. Its face was serenely tilted to the side and its cold, dead eyes were permanently held wide open. What gruesome reflection had encompassed their pupils a short time earlier, the wolf would never know. He quickly scanned the clearing’s perimeter for a few minutes to discern whether he was the fallen deer’s only pursuer. He was.
What a feast lay ahead! His immediate carnal instinct was to finally satisfy the hunger that had built up inside of him for so long, but he knew that he needed to take his great treasure back to the den before all else. He took hold of the deer’s neck with his formidable teeth and journeyed back in the direction he ventured from, hoping that his strength would not fail him. One particularly rough set of logs he had to cross gave him much trouble—he emerged with each paw full of splinters. Nevertheless, he triumphantly limped back into his den with the corpse, much to the delight of his mate. She licked his face and immediately tore into the deer. She was pregnant.
After eating, the wolf obsessively licked his bloody paws, which only seemed to make things worse. Sharp pangs ran between his footpads. Despite his wounds, he fell asleep quite soundly, having eaten his first substantial meal in weeks.
He began to dream. What a brilliant, marvelous dream it was! He was his former self: a reckless pup, playing and jumping with his mother and siblings. The soft earth tickled his footpads like a thousand warm tongues as he pranced about. The luminous sky above glowed with the Northern Lights and a myriad of stars that licked across the sky like migrating geese.
He awoke to find his four paws splinterless and clean! Was he still dreaming? His mate lay asleep in the exact same position as when she had dozed off the night before, her underside concealing imminent life…the dead deer was ravaged as ever…but a mysterious collection of mouse droppings littered the cave’s interior. The young wolf’s lips began to curl slightly upward, almost as though he were smiling. Peering out of his den once more, he found the ground a little warmer and the snow a small shade brighter, and so he went.
Just as he begins to enter back into the relative warmth of his deep home, he senses movement to his right. One step and a pounce! Whatever it was, he had pinned it on an icy stump. A squirrel? No, a mouse! But it was not stirring…had he killed it already?
Silence.
Out of sheer curiosity, he peeks beneath his paws and examines his prey: a run-of-the-mill field mouse. Alive, but remaining perfectly still and looking directly into his eyes. Its lips seemed to curl upwards, almost as though it were smiling. Who had ever heard of such a mouse? So close to certain death and yet so unmovingly silent.
A great chill shook the wolf right down his spine, causing him to lose his grip on the field mouse for the shortest of moments. It quickly scurried under the roots of the stump, well out of reach.
Completely distraught, the wolf decided to scourge the graying forest once more in hopes that some other morsel of food…of life…would cross his path. Yes, his path of muddy pawprints tracking through the snow.
How had the mouse gotten away? What a silly question; of course it was he who had let it go. But what unseen force had caused him to hesitate? All his life he’d hunted and never, ever let loose captured prey. And now, in his greatest moment of desperation for food, for life, that mouse triggered something inside of him that was very strange indeed.
A weak, but distinct smell began to enter his well-trained nostrils…blood! The pungent scent of fresh blood led him onwards into the very heart of the forest. A mile further, after dodging between the ever-looming snowcapped pine trees and over many fallen ones, a small clearing came into sight.
A mass of torn flesh lay sprawled within: the corpse of a deer, half-eaten, abandoned by some unnamable beast. Its face was serenely tilted to the side and its cold, dead eyes were permanently held wide open. What gruesome reflection had encompassed their pupils a short time earlier, the wolf would never know. He quickly scanned the clearing’s perimeter for a few minutes to discern whether he was the fallen deer’s only pursuer. He was.
What a feast lay ahead! His immediate carnal instinct was to finally satisfy the hunger that had built up inside of him for so long, but he knew that he needed to take his great treasure back to the den before all else. He took hold of the deer’s neck with his formidable teeth and journeyed back in the direction he ventured from, hoping that his strength would not fail him. One particularly rough set of logs he had to cross gave him much trouble—he emerged with each paw full of splinters. Nevertheless, he triumphantly limped back into his den with the corpse, much to the delight of his mate. She licked his face and immediately tore into the deer. She was pregnant.
After eating, the wolf obsessively licked his bloody paws, which only seemed to make things worse. Sharp pangs ran between his footpads. Despite his wounds, he fell asleep quite soundly, having eaten his first substantial meal in weeks.
He began to dream. What a brilliant, marvelous dream it was! He was his former self: a reckless pup, playing and jumping with his mother and siblings. The soft earth tickled his footpads like a thousand warm tongues as he pranced about. The luminous sky above glowed with the Northern Lights and a myriad of stars that licked across the sky like migrating geese.
He awoke to find his four paws splinterless and clean! Was he still dreaming? His mate lay asleep in the exact same position as when she had dozed off the night before, her underside concealing imminent life…the dead deer was ravaged as ever…but a mysterious collection of mouse droppings littered the cave’s interior. The young wolf’s lips began to curl slightly upward, almost as though he were smiling. Peering out of his den once more, he found the ground a little warmer and the snow a small shade brighter, and so he went.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Viva la Vida
No, I don't want to follow Death and all of his friends.
I won't take this life for nothing, won't pass things off as if they didn't matter, won't convince myselves that there is and always will be more time. What time? Has it never occurred to me that time only exists NOW?
No, it hasn't, and I might be totally wrong. But the past is a wall mural and the future is an empty canvas. So I guess now is the time...never before has that phrase ever taken such a deep and profound meaning.
I will live the Life, I will live for the Life,
I will live through the Life, and I will let the Life live through me.
Will you?
I won't take this life for nothing, won't pass things off as if they didn't matter, won't convince myselves that there is and always will be more time. What time? Has it never occurred to me that time only exists NOW?
No, it hasn't, and I might be totally wrong. But the past is a wall mural and the future is an empty canvas. So I guess now is the time...never before has that phrase ever taken such a deep and profound meaning.
I will live the Life, I will live for the Life,
I will live through the Life, and I will let the Life live through me.
Will you?
Monday, May 26, 2008
Control
It would seem that I am at an impass with myself. I think too much, talk too much, breathe too much. I am in control of my own fighter plane and I'm goin' down. At this moment, I give God complete control.
Right now, yes.
I have all these dreams of brilliant, crazy-awesome things that could happen, but if they're not in-tune with God's will, who cares?? I DON'T WANT THEM ANYMORE. And the sad part is that I wanted them for me. Not a dream for someone else to complete and bask in, not a dream for an entire group of people to be liberated from some tyrant somewhere, but they were all dreams that would be beneficial to me and only me if they were indeed carried out.
How selfish can one get? I find that selfishness can only deliver in a 1:1 ratio, where as generosity nearly always results in profit for the giver and the receiver both. And yet I remain constant in my vainglorious, typical, wasteful nature. Hopefully that stops today, here. Prayerfully, it stops in this moment. God is willing and it stops now.
"If you carefully observe all these commands I am giving you to follow—to love the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways and to hold fast to him—then the LORD will drive out all these nations before you, and you will dispossess nations larger and stronger than you"
Right now, yes.
I have all these dreams of brilliant, crazy-awesome things that could happen, but if they're not in-tune with God's will, who cares?? I DON'T WANT THEM ANYMORE. And the sad part is that I wanted them for me. Not a dream for someone else to complete and bask in, not a dream for an entire group of people to be liberated from some tyrant somewhere, but they were all dreams that would be beneficial to me and only me if they were indeed carried out.
How selfish can one get? I find that selfishness can only deliver in a 1:1 ratio, where as generosity nearly always results in profit for the giver and the receiver both. And yet I remain constant in my vainglorious, typical, wasteful nature. Hopefully that stops today, here. Prayerfully, it stops in this moment. God is willing and it stops now.
"If you carefully observe all these commands I am giving you to follow—to love the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways and to hold fast to him—then the LORD will drive out all these nations before you, and you will dispossess nations larger and stronger than you"
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Moonwatching
Last night, some moonlight peeked through my closed blinds right before I was going to sleep.
So I opened my blinds. It was unbelievable.
The moon was full--a tiny marble suspended in the sky.
Completely full. And it was hanging out in the space between the edges of my narrowish window, above the dark silhouette of my neighbor's house.
It rose, slowly and patiently, in a perfect curve and I measured its progress by how far it progressed up each sliver of a blind from a certain perspective.
It was so beautiful: such an ageless classic!
So I free-wrote (that's where you don't stop, ever) with/about/for the moon for an hour in the night...
...by moonlight.
It casted deep shadows on my notebook.
And I had to periodically shift my location
to escape from the darkness.
But honestly, it was incredible.
God revealed many things to me that night...
At one point, I felt Him right behind me.
Revelation 2:17- He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it.
Last night, God gave me a white stone with my true name inscribed upon it in gray craters and white ridges--the moon.
We live for these moments. Moments of solitude and introspection, accompanied only by the best things whose comfort is so often ignored. Like the moon. Like God.
I sincerely hope you try this sometime; it will be well worth it.
Dear Lord,
Thank you for the moon.
Amen
So I opened my blinds. It was unbelievable.
The moon was full--a tiny marble suspended in the sky.
Completely full. And it was hanging out in the space between the edges of my narrowish window, above the dark silhouette of my neighbor's house.
It rose, slowly and patiently, in a perfect curve and I measured its progress by how far it progressed up each sliver of a blind from a certain perspective.
It was so beautiful: such an ageless classic!
So I free-wrote (that's where you don't stop, ever) with/about/for the moon for an hour in the night...
...by moonlight.
It casted deep shadows on my notebook.
And I had to periodically shift my location
to escape from the darkness.
But honestly, it was incredible.
God revealed many things to me that night...
At one point, I felt Him right behind me.
Revelation 2:17- He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it.
Last night, God gave me a white stone with my true name inscribed upon it in gray craters and white ridges--the moon.
We live for these moments. Moments of solitude and introspection, accompanied only by the best things whose comfort is so often ignored. Like the moon. Like God.
I sincerely hope you try this sometime; it will be well worth it.
Dear Lord,
Thank you for the moon.
Amen
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Neck
This lovely neck of mine:
Anther perfect creation.
I would wish to bend it downwards,
And bow eternally to our Lord,
Or to thrust it permanently upwards
And bask in all His glory!
But for now, it points ahead
At the path laid out in front of me
So that on Redemption Day,
It may do both in perfect harmony.
Anther perfect creation.
I would wish to bend it downwards,
And bow eternally to our Lord,
Or to thrust it permanently upwards
And bask in all His glory!
But for now, it points ahead
At the path laid out in front of me
So that on Redemption Day,
It may do both in perfect harmony.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Struggle
I pretend like everything is fine.
It's not. WHY, God, must it be so, so hard?
I can't live without it...everytime I get anywhere close, it walks away.
Is this how You want it to be?
I lay down all I have for you.
Must I lay down what I don't have?
Would it encompass my life---more than YOU??
no, never, nay, all for naught.
(but it would. i admit it. i would dwell on nothing else.)
I am fasting from the stupidest things. But there is good reason, I suppose.
You.
Yahweh.
Father.
Infiltrate me,
that what I want will come naturally and in Your way,
that it might drench me in pure, distilled rain. Rain down.
Thank you, but know (but you already know) that this is hard.
But it would be so hard to do regardless! I am too shy,
Too constrictive,
Too reserved,
Too many walls put up.
I want to tear them down!! But I won't.
This must be why...among so so so many other reasons.
Would it be....
?
Somebody. Anybody. Nobody.
But let's not keep it a secret forever, okay?
Ahhhhhhhh. :) :) :) So this is what it feels like
Hey God,
Take me, break me, I am pierced. (--Audio Adrenaline)
It's not. WHY, God, must it be so, so hard?
I can't live without it...everytime I get anywhere close, it walks away.
Is this how You want it to be?
I lay down all I have for you.
Must I lay down what I don't have?
Would it encompass my life---more than YOU??
no, never, nay, all for naught.
(but it would. i admit it. i would dwell on nothing else.)
I am fasting from the stupidest things. But there is good reason, I suppose.
You.
Yahweh.
Father.
Infiltrate me,
that what I want will come naturally and in Your way,
that it might drench me in pure, distilled rain. Rain down.
Thank you, but know (but you already know) that this is hard.
But it would be so hard to do regardless! I am too shy,
Too constrictive,
Too reserved,
Too many walls put up.
I want to tear them down!! But I won't.
This must be why...among so so so many other reasons.
Would it be....
?
Somebody. Anybody. Nobody.
For anyone, anyone, anyone,
Even though I know who.
You know, I don't.But let's not keep it a secret forever, okay?
Ahhhhhhhh. :) :) :) So this is what it feels like
Hey God,
Take me, break me, I am pierced. (--Audio Adrenaline)
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